Big Blow Py Ro!
Question:
I found a really great rural spot to park my double wide on. It’s a nice flat lot next to a small company that’s called “Big Blow Py Ro”. So far they don’t seem very neighborly, but they do have a lot of security and cameras. I tried to meet them but no one answered the speaker at the gate when I hit the button, but it was lunch time so they were probably all eating pie.
The place is pretty over run with weeds and not very well maintained, but I’m thinking this may be a good thing, since I have a couple old cars, a travel trailer we don’t use anymore and a tractor that will be hanging out in the yard. Plus my mower broke down years ago. But something keeps nagging me. I’m a little concerned about the fences and razor wire. That could be dangerous for our young’uns when they are out playing in the yard. I still remember like my grandma’s pie and it would be really cool to live next to a pie factory, what do you think? Anonymous and hungry for Pie!
Answer:
Well anonymous, not surprising, allow me to attempt some advice.
You seem to have stumbled upon hideout of sorts. A number of years ago two scientists were conducting experiments in Bolivia. They had developed a new chemical composition that would revolutionize and quickly make large holes where large holes needed to be made. In their excitement they proposed to make a public demonstration and chose the Bolivian Amphitheater where they could accommodate a large audience of distinguished scientist, developers and folks.
Unfortunately, that structure no longer exists. Nor, by the way, does the real estate it sat on. The two scientists, saddened by the disaster that ensued, yet pleased with their result quietly escaped to the U.S. and were no longer heard from for some time. Word had it that they were in the dynamite development business.
Their names were well known in Bolivia as O.K. Lytum and Quikklee Hyde. It was assumed that the company they formed in the U.S. was known as Lytum and Hyde.
Some years ago a third scientist joined their group, one Dr. Azquikk Azukanna and the company became known as “Lytum and Hyde Azquikkasukann”.
Now they have been recluses for quite some time and nasty rumors surfaced about them being heavily involved in the drug trade. Hence the razor wire and security cameras etc.
Those rumors started when they changed the company name to the current “Big Blow Py Ro”. Frankly I think they were mislabeled and are really quite salt peter of the earth. My suggestion when you’ve settled is to have a real welcome big bang party, you know a very large bonfire close to the fences so the security cameras pick it up. Perhaps a sign inviting them to your bonfire bash with hot dogs, brats and some potato salad.
Oh, and use a few bottle rockets aimed over the fence to get their attention. That’ll open the security gates real fast. You know a real “pow” wow so they know you mean business. Even though they might enjoy a beer or two I’d suggest that you keep the young’ uns back at grandma’s place.
That said, plan that party partner. Oh, hope they bring over some of that “Big Blow Py Ro” pie!
